DFW Oncology Navigators

National Grief Day

Posted over 2 years ago by Gwen Spector

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August 30 is National Grief Day.

“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” ― Vicki Harrison

What is grief? Put in the simplest terms, grief is an intense emotional experience triggered by a loss. Grief is most commonly experienced in the context of death, such as the death of someone close to the grieving individual or the individual themselves in the process of dying. However, loss comes in many forms, and grief can also be experienced following the loss of a relationship, a job, faith, significant material assets, and so on. It’s appropriate that the word ‘grief’ has its roots in the Latin ‘gravis,’ which roughly translates to ‘a heavy burden.’ Grief emerges from the heavy burden of emotions triggered by the loss (Dunne, 2004).

- Positive Psychology

Grief is normal, and it is a process. Expressing grief is how a person reacts to the loss of a loved one. Many people think of grief as a single instance or as a short time of pain or sadness in response to a loss – like the tears shed at a loved one’s funeral. But grieving includes the entire emotional process of coping with a loss, and it can last a long time. The process involves many different emotions, actions, and expressions, all of which help a person come to terms with the loss of a loved one. - American Cancer Society

Grief is living with loss - what is and what should have been. Types of grief include complicated grief (intense, deep sorrow for the loss of a loved one) and anticipatory grief (preparatory grief before a death). Counseling and practicing mindfulness are two things that can help with grief. - Cancer Support Community

For those of us experiencing grief, if we accept that it is a part of our current life experience, we can progress to permitting ourselves to grieve. Permission to grieve does so much to lighten the load and allow us to flow into a new reality where grief changes our lives profoundly.

If someone you love is experiencing grief, you must accept that grief exists and that it is a personal journey for the person experiencing it – and not something that requires judgment or any action to “fix” it.

All too often, those experiencing grief often feel that they aren’t allowed to grieve and are judged when doing so. There is no expiration date on grief, and after a set amount of time, those of us grieving a death loss won’t merely “get over it.” Grief is a highly personal journey that each person is on for the rest of their life. Sometimes the feelings and memories come back in waves

It is critical that we, as a society, do not put added pressure on those who are grieving. There are so many ways to support grief awareness. If you know someone is grieving, offer to be there for them – no judgment.

From Healgrief.org

Our cancer patients and caregivers, and possibly ourselves, experience grief from an actual or anticipated loss - of a loved one, body part or normalcy, etc. 

Resources